Need some lady help

"Big Bubba Ray" (eganward01)
07/24/2014 at 00:12 • Filed to: None

Have a C10 for your time.

A few months ago I posted about this girl I like. I was hesitant to ask her out because of our age difference (I'm 22, she's 19). You guys gave me the green light and just this week I grew a pair of balls and asked her out.

I haven't been on a first date...probably since I was 18. My cars have been my girlfriends for quite some time.

Stupid question, but what the hell should I do for a first date? This girl is a ton of fun and I want to do something really fun, but I don't know what.

I'm taking her out next week so I need ideas. Any help is appreciated.

DISCUSSION (46)

beardsbynelly - Rikerbeard > Big Bubba Ray
07/24/2014 at 00:15

drifting. and then tacos.

Frosted > Big Bubba Ray
07/24/2014 at 00:16

Mini golf/bowling/go karts?

Chuck 2(O=[][]=O)2 > Big Bubba Ray
07/24/2014 at 00:16

First off, congrats on growing balls. Secondly, I don't really have any context, but do something that you would enjoy as well. There's this girl I asked out for coffee. We haven't met yet, but you sorta downplay it. I'm planing to take her to Little Italy, Baltimore to this really nice desert shop for coffee or whatever she wants. Then, if there's time left, a walk around the harbor. But, like I said, I don't know what you or her are into. Above all, be yourself and don't overthink it. Just do it ;)

Big Bubba Ray > Chuck 2(O=[][]=O)2
07/24/2014 at 00:19

Haha thanks. I'm probably overthinking it cause I've liked her for a while and I'm nervous about taking her out. I'm gonna do some creative thinking tonight (thanks to many beers) and hopefully I'll come up with something!

Big Bubba Ray > Frosted
07/24/2014 at 00:20

Go karts would be so much goddamn fun but she would know it's more of a thing for me cause she knows how obsessed I am with cars haha

Chuck 2(O=[][]=O)2 > Big Bubba Ray
07/24/2014 at 00:21

Best of luck. And trust me, it is completely valid to have your ride as your girlfriend.

Lekker > beardsbynelly - Rikerbeard
07/24/2014 at 00:23

There's always time for tacos on a date.

Big Bubba Ray > Chuck 2(O=[][]=O)2
07/24/2014 at 00:24

Haha I'm sure you understand that struggle as well as I do. I'm putting Datsun funds on hold to take this girl out. That's a MASSIVE step for me.

Lekker > Big Bubba Ray
07/24/2014 at 00:25

It seems to me you're already doing the right thing, being interested and polite while expressing desire to hang out. At this point I would honestly just say whatever it is you pick, remember your intentions are to have a good time and get to know her more. That is afterall what dates are for.. right? Be yourself dude, remember to listen and be polite. That is what we should do for everyone, so why be different with her? :)

Good Luck Amigo, may the Salsa be with you. Or Ranch. Whatever floats your boat

StoneCold > Big Bubba Ray
07/24/2014 at 00:26

What town/city?

Is she into the party scene with younger people or kinda mellower activities?

More importantly, are you past the "getting coffee" stage?

If you are you looking for something long term and haven't had the chance, I'd recommend going for coffee or something first and just talking.

If there's a lot of awkward silence and phone-checking, I wouldn't put too much stock in where you'll go from there.

When 4 hours suddenly flies by and you both know much more and are very comfortable with each other, that's something to care for.

ZiptieMcBumper > Big Bubba Ray
07/24/2014 at 00:26

You say she's fun, so... in what context? Where have you hung out together where she seemed like she was really enjoying herself?

Brainstorm for a bit and you'll come up with something.

Figure out what she really likes to do, then make it an all-nighter.

First, go karting. (Is Boschertown still good? I don't know. I'm old and haven't been to StL in a long time). See if she can have fun in your element. Then do something you know she's really comfortable with and enjoys. If you can both muster up the same level of enthusiasm for each other's hobbies, then you know things might work out well.

IDROVEAPICKUPTRUCK > Big Bubba Ray
07/24/2014 at 00:30

It's a little tougher since she isn't 21 yet and can't go places that serve alcohol. The ideal is an activity that gives you time to talk but also takes up time and prevents awkward silences. Something like a baseball game is good because it provides both, but she would have to have some interest in baseball. A minor league game would be perfect because it's not so serious, you can relax and you can probably sneak here some beers.
Music is another good choice, see if you can find someplace where some local acts are playing, I've found that outdoor venues on Saturday afternoons can be a lot of fun.

If all else fails just take her out to dinner. Or dancing, girls love dancing.

Big Bubba Ray > ZiptieMcBumper
07/24/2014 at 00:32

Solid advice. Thank you.

She's like off the wall kinda goofy fun. She's happy doing a lot of things and karting might be a good idea actually haha

A lot of the karting places around STL have gone under but there is one a buddy of mine has gone to that is apparently a shit ton of fun. Probably going to look into that. She loves horses so I was thinking of taking her to my friend's farm to ride for the day, but he's going to be out of town.

I have a lot of thinking to do haha

Big Bubba Ray > IDROVEAPICKUPTRUCK
07/24/2014 at 00:36

Ya her being 21 really isn't a huge deal to me. Don't get me wrong, I love drinking, but I don't rely on it to have fun or lessen potential awkward interactions haha

A Cardinals game might actually be a good idea. I know some folks that could hook me up with great Cardinals tickets so I might give that a try. Thanks!

JGrabowMSt > Big Bubba Ray
07/24/2014 at 00:37

Keep it simple. Honestly, get dinner, pay the bill, drive her home.

You need to spend a few weeks finding out what you want from the relationship, and I'll give you a hint: It's not in the bedroom.

Set a time that you'll go home. With my girlfriend, as long as we've been dating, it's about 10pm. Sounds early, but you know what? You make the most of your time together. I just have that routine. I have a 35 minute drive home through some pretty dangerous roads at night, so I make sure it's still a reasonable time if I have to call a tow, or if anything happens in terms of traffic. Kind of make a routine for your relationship, and it'll help you guys be open with each other.

Be cautious. You're investing time into a relationship, and you want to make sure she knows that this isn't a race to the bed. Find out what she's into, and get a common ground with her, and enjoy the hell out of it. Get to know her, and set the bar really high for the next guy. Chivalry isn't dead, neither is being a gentleman.

And whatever you do, meet the parents, and be on great terms with the whole family. In all relationships I've had, I could go over when my girlfriend wasn't around, and be treated like I'm part of the family. It's something that's helped every relationship I've been in. It's also one of the best feelings in the world, knowing that your girlfriends family likes you a lot.

Dsscats > Big Bubba Ray
07/24/2014 at 00:41

Don't do it. Don't do anything which could be competitive as it could lead to disagreements. Also, that gives the impression that you care more about your desires than hers.

Big Bubba Ray > JGrabowMSt
07/24/2014 at 00:43

Great advice. Thank you, sir.

Big Bubba Ray > StoneCold
07/24/2014 at 00:44

We're in St. Louis, MO. And if say were past the getting coffee stage haha we both know each other very well.

His Stigness > Big Bubba Ray
07/24/2014 at 00:49

Do some handbrake turns, and she'll go apeshit!!

ZiptieMcBumper > Big Bubba Ray
07/24/2014 at 00:50

Only other one beside Boschertown (St. Charles) I've been to is an indoor place near Grant's Farm. It's called Pole Position or something like that. I preferred Boschertown, but I was probably just being nostalgic... I could hear it from my back yard growing up.

Big Bubba Ray > ZiptieMcBumper
07/24/2014 at 00:53

Yep, Pole Position is still around. That's the one my friend went to. They got some electric karts recently that are apparently fast as shit haha

Big Bubba Ray > His Stigness
07/24/2014 at 00:53

Handbrake turns in my new Datsun. Panties would be flying!

Money Hustard > Big Bubba Ray
07/24/2014 at 00:55

No movies and don't make a meal the centerpiece of the date [edit: unless you guys are foodies and you are going somewhere really special].

Be yourself but don't do all the talking. Don't be a James Lipton though.

Kinja'd!!!

Also, and not just because this is Oppo, but take the young lady out for a drive. If cars have been your girlfriends, driving is obviously a passion of yours.

Show her yer passion, bro, girls love that shit.

The first date with my wife, I got a ticket going 110 between New Orleans and Baton Rouge in a Wolfsburg Jetta. Don't do that, that's stupid, but hey, it must have worked, it's been 12 years now.

Cherry_man1 > Big Bubba Ray
07/24/2014 at 00:59

Dude I know you are in STL take her to The Loop or Take her to Forest Park.

Chuck 2(O=[][]=O)2 > Big Bubba Ray
07/24/2014 at 01:09

Yah, right now I have a CREAM mindset. Cars Rule Everything Around Me (get the money dolla dolla bill ya'll). I am forgoing a trip to VIR for the SCCA race next month to get Bilsteins and a few other things and hopefully a 38/38 Weber so I can spend more on gas and (hopefully) tires. It's an addiction.

Leadbull > Big Bubba Ray
07/24/2014 at 01:17

You can never go wrong with a Cards game.

My dad was in the Air Force for 20 years, so I have a military (dependent) ID until I finish college. I can get into Cards games free. Huehuehue

Leadbull > Cherry_man1
07/24/2014 at 01:20

Dude, I recently found out that Chuck Berry plays at Blueberry Hill once a month. Frickin' Chuck Berry. He's like 89.

You need to be 21 to go to the shows, though...

Big Bubba Ray > Cherry_man1
07/24/2014 at 01:40

Ya the Loop is kinda worn out haha she went to Clayton for high school which is like 5 minutes from the loop so we've seen and done it all! Forest Park is always a good option. Tons of stuff to do there!

Cherry_man1 > Big Bubba Ray
07/24/2014 at 01:46

Maybe the Zoo? Maybe take her to Gateway this weekend for the fin ford weekend? The Torino will be there.

IDROVEAPICKUPTRUCK > Big Bubba Ray
07/24/2014 at 02:01

I just mean it can limit where you can go. I love going to see small acts perform live music but those normally take place in bars where you wouldn't be able to take here, which can suck.

Best of luck.

Big Bubba Ray > Cherry_man1
07/24/2014 at 02:02

The Zoo is also a bit worn out unfortunately haha EVERY STL kid has been to the Zoo like a million times so it's not as fun as it should be haha

Cherry_man1 > Big Bubba Ray
07/24/2014 at 02:06

Fair enough. So Gateway~? Or Art Museum? Like I'm a IL kid I don't know half the crazy stuff you city kids do.

Big Bubba Ray > Cherry_man1
07/24/2014 at 02:08

Art Museum is meh. STL is boring as shit that's why I'm struggling for date ideas haha

I would do gateway but I'm going to the Zoo (kill me) with some out of town friends on Saturday who want to see it and I work all day Sunday unfortunately.

Cherry_man1 > Big Bubba Ray
07/24/2014 at 02:12

Well Friday night is when the First day of the show @Gateway starts at 4:00pm is and Sunday is the Fords Unlimited show over in McDonnell park(I think St.Charles?)

Philbert/Phartnagle > Big Bubba Ray
07/24/2014 at 02:51

Let her choose what she likes to do and pray it is something you both have in common perhaps?

Not that that really matters in the end though. The wife and I have literally nothing in common other than our children. We just like different things, from foods to leisure time activities and we have been married for a good long time now. We just accepted early on that we had differing interests and went with it. It worked for us.

The man in the iron mask > beardsbynelly - Rikerbeard
07/24/2014 at 03:35

What kind of tacos?

The man in the iron mask > Chuck 2(O=[][]=O)2
07/24/2014 at 03:38

lol. Im glad im not alone, and more that someone else says its valid.

The Tunnel > Big Bubba Ray
07/24/2014 at 03:51

I've never have a girlfriend if you leave out the mustang, but my common sense advice is, depending on how she is, dont hoon the first time, or any time. Also, the karting option seems awesome, but id say you collect some ideas, and then tell her to pick one... or more of those.

thebigbossyboss > Big Bubba Ray
07/24/2014 at 07:25

Billiards!! Just make sure you aren't an embarrassment at the game first.

Conan > The Tunnel
07/24/2014 at 07:25

Hooning can be great. Some of them really like it. You're right though in a sense that he's getting to know her. Women like adrenalin raising activities though. My girlfriend and I transitioned from the very un adrenaline raising Risk to skydiving, SCA (not SCCA) jousting, and eventually her doing rally school with me.

Vince-The Roadside Mechanic > Big Bubba Ray
07/24/2014 at 07:37

1-If you want sex you need to do a well executed handbrake turn.

2-No place with boos, she will feel left out.

3-Fishing on your boat is fun and enjoyable. (not competitive)

4-Gocarting is fun but competitive.

5-Teach her how to rebuild a set of triple webers for your Datsun.

6-You will nee something to eat. May I suggest a Gyro as it is one of the more sexier foods along with ice cream .

7-If the fair is in town go there.

8-DON'T ramble about your Datsun unless she asked to hear about it. Then only tell a little. If she wants to know more, she will ask.

Chuck 2(O=[][]=O)2 > The man in the iron mask
07/24/2014 at 09:03

I mean, it is a person from OPPO telling you that. But, we're all here to tell you that your addiction is okay, just don't go sticking your dick in the tailpipe. I think that's a different website.

dr861 > Big Bubba Ray
07/24/2014 at 12:31

just ask a bunch of questions about her. Really. Thats all you need to do. And be nice.

The man in the iron mask > Chuck 2(O=[][]=O)2
07/25/2014 at 10:22

lol no, i dont have that knd of love.

Stef Schrader > Big Bubba Ray
07/31/2014 at 20:21

Oh no no no no no, you better make this woman help with the car.

Stef Schrader > Big Bubba Ray
07/31/2014 at 20:32

What do you both like to do? Do that. Something fun, for crap's sake. Food and a movie seems to be the standby.